Tag Archives: Questions

Sensory deprivation…

Or maybe propaganda deprivation would be a better term for how I’m feeling right now.  It’s going to be an interesting kind of day.

I know I should have probably taken a mental health day after the weird, not so great day yesterday.  Thank you other commuters and mechanical issues.  Then there was the issue of understanding how a pivotal person could not see why they need to do their job correctly.  But not my circus, not my monkeys, right?

After yesterday, there was this morning.  I’m still not sure what set me over the edge enough to type this.  Maybe it was the guy who was almost on my bumper to the point had I stopped, he would have had nowhere to go but into my trunk.  Or the person who was in such a rush that I had to pull over to the side of the road to let him pass, even though I was going 45/50 in a 35 (yes, I’m telling on myself).  Or maybe, just maybe, it was trying to get around people while trying to catch my transfer, then looking up to see advertisements freaking everywhere!

Let’s support DC Mothers and Babies, complete with picture of young, white woman on a sunny day holding her protruding stomach.  

Go back to school with [insert college name].  Complete in little to no time with a Bachelor’s in [fill in blank:  Business Administration, Business Management, Political Science, etc.], featuring an affluent, young, black woman in a pantsuit sitting behind a desk.

Want to go to a concert?  Here’s what’s coming up at [insert musical venue].

Check out this hashtag for information about George Washington, complete with animation and our nation’s colors.  

And on and on and on.

There are anthropomorphic squirrels asking you to define “ever” when applying for security clearance jobs, more schools, upcoming musicals, and even things to do around town locally.  And that’s just what I noticed this morning!

Does anyone else not see the issues with these?

Sigh.

Sometimes I wonder if the world is breaking or if it’s just me.  It’s difficult to just be alive right now without the “try this, do that, look this way, wear this” advertisements thrown in your face.  What happened to “be yourself”?  What happened to empowerment?  What happened to being a community?  What happened to having a sense of purpose without the influence of propaganda?  When did having boatloads of debt for a piece of freaking paper become a norm?  When did making yourself up trump not using it?  When did we start caring so much about what was on the outside?

Just some things to think about.

Listening to:  Nothing.

Reading:  A lot.

Quote of the day:   “I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.” ― Gilda Rander

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Ponderings

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday.  The world can stop spinning now!

That’s a joke from my mom because I would act like the world revolved around me when I was younger and how I felt the entire world should know it’s my birthday and celebrate me.

I have since grown out of that phase but that joke/sentiment still sticks with me years after she said it.  Along with that one time I got sung to by a choir group passing through the Shoney’s and my dad mentioned it was my birthday to the instructor.  Mom and Grandma both got on my case for not saying “Thank you” to them.  I finally mumbled “thank you” to him as we were leaving.  I didn’t NOT say it because I was ungrateful.  I was embarrassed.

But 30…

I wanted to talk about the things I wanted to accomplish but haven’t yet; the things I did accomplish in the last 30 years of being on this earth, especially in the last two years; the loses and the gains of growing into a person your mom can be proud of; or even the things I’m looking forward to in the next decade.  The only thing I’m stuck on though is how much I want to get in the next 14 years.

Fourteen years has significance in a morbid way.  Tomorrow, I’ll turn the same age my mom was when she had me.  She was 44 when she died, so fourteen years.  Like I said, it’s a morbid way to spend my birthday thinking about how, in 14 years, I’ll have seen more years then she did.  Would she be happy with the person I became?  Is my morbidity of trying to accomplish so much in 14 years the reason I feel like I have finite time to accomplish everything I want out of life?

Silver linings though right?  We’ve always got to look for the positive in any situation.  Why don’t I feel like looking at the positive right now?  Why don’t I want to focus on the fact I have a great family?  Why can’t I focus on my accomplishments so far this year?  That would be easy; I just have to look at my goals posts.  There is no easy answer for when does time run out.  Do I really have 14 years?  More?  Less?

Ponderings.  These are just ponderings of the emotions coming from a milestone birthday.  I’m really okay.  Between reading and writing, blogging and recording content for my BookTube Channel, I have plenty to keep me busy, especially since we are also part way through the process of buying a house.

Listening to:  Amazon’s Rise Against station

Reading:  Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

Quote of the Day:  “It’s really something for people who are approaching 30 to take a look at what that means to them.  I think turning 30 is a way to re-identify with yourself.” – Neil Patrick Harris

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Home

I haven’t done a question day in a while.  With everything else going on, but not much too really talk about yet, I figured it would be a good idea since there are still 90 more to go.

Thanks to Google’s Random number generator, today’s number is “49”.

Question #49:  When you think of “home,” what, specifically, do you think of?

This question is pretty appropriate because we are looking for a house to settle into.  We’ve been living in an apartment for the last couple years.  I’ll spare you the rant about home buying and the American dream.

I’ve never been a white picket fence type of person.  Sure, it would be nice to have some roots, but when you don’t really grow up with them (we moved a lot when I was growing up), putting down roots is scary to me, even if it’s just a house.

That’s not answer the question yet but just a bit of background on why this question is sort of hard to answer.  Of course, if it were easy, these questions wouldn’t exist to make you think about your life and the experiences and people who’ve passed through.

So home… Home is a place where my family is.  Not just the family I’ve married into, but my biological family.  Sure, I don’t see them as much as I should; someday I’m going to regret that.

Home is where things should be less stressful and serves as an escape from the stress of the day.  Lately, our stress has been at home because of us trying to make sure we are set for our next move.  There’s a few other stressors there too (funds mostly because I haven’t been Ubering in almost a month and things are tight).

Home is the arms of the people who can make the day fade away and can make anything feel possible.

Home is where the people in your heart are.  It’s where you get the answers to the hardest questions you never got to ask while they were around.

Home isn’t always about shelter, it’s about love and respect and trust and knowing there are people who love you enough to be there to help you pick up the broken pieces when you are failing at adulting and at life in general.

Home… is home.

What does home mean to you?

Happy Friday!

Listening to:  Amazon Music

Reading:  Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling

Quote of the Day:  “The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.” — Maya Angelou

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Finally…

I finally hit the publish button on one of my book, The Universal Remote.

This fall would have made four years since I started writing the story.  I have stories older than that but that’s the first story I had taken to the finishing point.

Like most things, this started out as a nightmare turned into a full story.  I finally had to come to the conclusion that the first draft wasn’t supposed to be perfect and there would be times when I hated the story.  I hated writing it because it wasn’t perfect or made any sense whatsoever.  But it got me writing and then finishing it.

Now I have to finish my other stories too.  I actually started in on Shadows again over the weekend.  That story has been around since I was 15 in various formats.  I need to gather up all the different to that storyline that seems to be everywhere and condense it to one document.

But first… Here are the links to The Universal Remote, along with the description.  If you read it, please leave a review.

Description:  Would you want to know the future if you could?

Chelsea was getting married when she asks for a sign of when the love of her life would leave her.  The Universe answered in an interesting way.  On her one-year wedding anniversary, she received an unmarked package with a remote. 

Set in Tuscany and mixed with glimpses into the future while also set in the past, Chelsea sees her life unfold over ten episodes while dealing with life changing events in her present.

By the end, she is left with more questions than answers and gets answers to some of the questions she hadn’t thought to ask along with a few heartbreaking secrets.  Knowing what she does brings up one major question, though:  Will knowing what happens in the future change anything in the present?

Links: 

If you are looking for self-publishing information, check out Derek Murphy’s website and YouTube channel.  He has some good tips and tricks for those looking to self-publish.

Happy Monday!

Listening to:  My Writing playlist on Amazon.

Reading:  Marked in Flesh by Anne Bishop

Quote of the Day:  “I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed.” ― Robert H. Schuller

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Filed under 1001 Days, Books/Classes, Bucket List, Goals, Writing