Category Archives: Writing

Currently I am…

Damn Pinterest again.

I was looking for recipes for this weekend that are keto-friendly—something other than eggs, steak, and bulletproof coffee—and ran across more journal prompts.  This is great actually since it helps me with thought provoking questions as well as getting content up on my blog.  That is always a good thing.

One that I ran across was “Currently, I am…”  I know I normally put a Listening to: and Reading: at the bottom of my posts.  But this list goes a little bit more in depth than that.

Let’s get started.

  • Reading: Stardust by Neil Gaiman and Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor. Both are really good books and the narration on Strange the Dreamer is awesome!
  • Playing: Nothing.
  • Watching: I’m on season 11 of Supernatural. I don’t want to start it because then I’m going to want to binge watch it and season 12 just to get caught up before Season 13 hits Netflix.
  • Trying: Not to procrastinate.  I really should be working on other things but I’m excited to almost be done with my detail that I’m not focusing.
  • Cooking: Chicken Enchiladas sans the tortillas.
  • Eating: Nothing at the moment.
  • Drinking: Bullet proof coffee and flavored water.
  • Calling: No one right now.
  • Texting: No one.
  • Pinning: Nothing at the moment.
  • Tweeting: My blog and vlog posts.  That’s the only reason I get on Twitter and I normally ignore likes and things like that until I am really bored and then I might check them out.  Same with Instagram.
  • Crafting: A really pretty four seasons wreath cross-stitch that Ray got me for Christmas our first year together.
  • Scrapping: Um… unknown
  • Doing: This post.
  • Going: Home soon.
  • Loving: This weather.  I need it to be like this almost every single day of my trip back to Maryland.
  • Hating: My lackadaisical attitude right now.  I don’t really want to do anything work related but have a couple things I need to get done.
  • Discovering: What I want out of my job and for my life.
  • Enjoying: Not stressing so much about things that don’t really matter.
  • Thinking: It would be nice to go to the coast this weekend.
  • Feeling: Mellow
  • Hoping (for): A quiet weekend with lots of reading!
  • Listening (to): Nothing right now.  I had to take my earbuds off for a meeting.
  • Celebrating:
  • Spelling: Um… ????
  • Thanking: The Universe for generally being awesome right now.
  • Considering: Calling my school and changing some of my tuition things around.
  • Finishing: This post.
  • Starting: My list of things I have to get done tomorrow.

Happy Friday!

Quote of the day:  “I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” ― Martha Washington 


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Journal Prompts

This morning I wasn’t sure what to write.  Pinterest, again, is a plethora of ideas.

May’s Journal prompts were pretty short and sweet.  Today’s was “something that needs to change.”

Thinking about things that need to change is tough.  Sometimes, we focus on the big things in our lives that take the most to change, like trying to find a new job.  Notice how we only ever look for a new job when things are going really poorly at our current one?  I hadn’t thought about that until I started typing that out, but honestly, I never once looked for jobs that I thought might be interesting while I was happy working where I was.  It was only after things got bad that I started looking.

Other times, it’s the small things, like waking up earlier and making the coffee at home vs rushing to get coffee and then rushing to catch your train or drive into work.  Something so small as that can change whether the day is good or bad.  Of course, I have that to look forward to in three weeks.

So something that needs to change for me, at this moment:  I am procrastinating on writing up a list of things that need to be done by the person coming in behind me.  Why?  Because I don’t really want this time to be over, and yet I’m ready for it to be.  It’s funny really.  I keep wanting to do awesome things and I want the person coming in behind me to be awesome too.  So why am I procrastinating on doing something that helps them be awesome?  I don’t really know.

Something else that I need to change:  Not writing.  I keep saying this one.  I keep ignoring my own stories in favor of reading other peoples.  My stories aren’t going to get out there if I don’t write them.  Some of them I have to go back and change the characters because I don’t want to write heterosexual characters anymore; that’s not who I am.  Maybe changing the character’s gender will help; maybe it won’t.  Either way, I need to stop not writing and just get back into it.  That will probably be easy once I am back home in my new office with time on my hands again.

These seem like small changes, and they are.  I just have to get them done.

What are some changes you’ve been stalling on?

Listening to:  Me typing.

Reading:  The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley, Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore by Matthew Sullivan, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

Quote of the Day:  “All life demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person we are today.” ― Pope Paul VI

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Personality Types

For the record, I’m 30.  That may seem old to a lot of people and very young to others.

I’ve not been quiet about my need and desire to find a new line of work, maybe freelance work like writing or opinion-based journalism (although lately what’s the difference?) or maybe travel agent/dreamer/unrealistic goal setter.  Take your pick.  A deep, secret part of me would have picked librarian or successful author.  I have a book finished; just can’t bring myself to finish editing the damn thing.

One terrible thing about me with this whole “wanting to change careers” movement is I research things to death.  Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you that I research until things aren’t fun anymore, or don’t do enough research…although not sure how that happens.  I’m pretty focused on things and once I dig my nails into something, it’s very hard to get me to not do it.

The first article I came across about switching careers at 30 gave the reader the advice to figure out their personality type before moving forward, since making any type of career change now means finding a career that makes the person happy and going for it.  At 30, with the standard 62 year retirement rate, I’m looking at spending 30+ years (if I finally find something at 32 that I love and qualify for) working in that career field.

So personality tests:  Myers-Briggs.  That’s the go-to for any type of personality test that I know of.  And Pinterest, the best procrastination tool out there, is littered with explanations about the types with memes, lists, why a type might hate you, etc.

Damn it if I didn’t come out as an INFP (Introverted, Intuition, Feeling, and Prospecting).  I will say that the N could have easily been an S (Sensing/Observant) and the P could have easily been a J (Judging).  I don’t know what questions would have gone the 2% in the other direction and I kind of don’t want to know.  The other two, I and F:  no question on those two.

So at my age, with no degree, what jobs am I looking at?  Pretty much novel writing.  What can I do that makes what I make in a year?  Nothing without a degree.  I mean come on!  I have to have a degree to be a librarian, and a Master’s degree at that.  That is a dream job, doesn’t pay much starting off, but as a bibliophile, in a perfect world, that’s what I’d do.  Experience though counts for almost nothing.  Note:  My high school volunteer work and summers were spent at the library.  See?  Already looking at that route.

I’m complaining because now I have to get off my duff, finish my Bachelor’s, and start working on my Master’s in Library Sciences.  Yeah to another two to three years of school and another three years doing what I do now.  At least I’ll hit the eight-hour leave category by then right?

Listening to: Wish You Were Here by Incubus on repeat (Thank you Amazon!)

Reading:  Queen of the Darkness by Anne Bishop and A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab

Quote of the Day:  “The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.” ― Max Lerner

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Perceptions are judgements wrapped in neat, little packages.  Seriously, perceptions, according to the dictionary, are “a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.”

Here’s a great impression for you:  Respect.

I grew up being taught to give respect when people have earned your respect.  What they never tell you is how to earn said respect.  Is it by good actions? Pleasant words? Being formal in informal situations? Calling people out when they step over your boundary lines? Constantly calling someone a name they have asked you more than once not to call them when you aren’t like that with anyone else in the family? You may perceive you are being respectful but you aren’t.

They also never tell you all about the different forms of respect:  Parental respect, respect in friendships, the business world, etc.  The newest one in respect on the internet.


Another great perception is a safe and fair work environment.  Question:  How does that look to you? Because it means different things to different people since safety is viewed as something different for each of us.  For me, it’s a place where I can grow and not worry about screwing up.  It’s being able to feel like I’m breathing clean air and not surrounded by slimy things that steal small patches of happiness. If you’ve ever seen “Howl’s Moving Castle,” those things… Ugh!


Here’s one more for you: The pursuit of happiness. I perceive someone’s life as worthless and unfilled, but they are happy with what they have. I wouldn’t be happy in their life because I perceive it as meaningless. I’m also coming from a D.C. perspective and not a WV background anymore.  I perceive them as not happy because they are scrambling paycheck to paycheck (I still am too; see why I said perceptions were judgements?) but, to them, they are happy for the most part.

I perceive my life as awesome, with a great partner, a family, a few friends, a house, a job, and plenty of “stuff.” Someone else may perceive my life as cluttered, messy, unfathomable, unambitious, etc.  But their perceptions of my life are colored by their experiences and their feelings.

Are they wrong? No. Am I wrong? No.  We just perceive things differently.  You know how that changes though?  Communication!

Enough ramblings.

Listening to:  Amazon Music.

Reading:  Night Broken by Patricia Briggs

Quote of the Day:  “Some people see the cup as half empty. Some people see the cup as half full. I see the cup as too large.” — George Carlin

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Writing Prompt Wednesday

Haven’t done one of these since the first one.  So much for keep on top of things right?

Today’s writing prompt:  Name something you wish was “glow in the dark.”

When I read that, my immediate answer was “hearts.”

What would we do if we could see the color of someone’s heart?  Would the colors mean something different, i.e., red for in love, blue for depressed, black/no glow for extremely bad, pink for innocent, etc.  I could see why that is a writing prompt.

So short story time I guess and maybe longer story later (may work on it after work today):

A young woman who knows she is different has a heart where, when it glows in the dark, has multiple scars.  Her heart is soft shades of blue that changes to soft shades of purple when she’s happy but can’t ever quite reach red, where she feels the love she wants to feel.  After years of trying, she moves somewhere new, without changing the way she acts, so she is in a new place but still wants to protect her blue, scarred heart from people.  One day, she meets someone who calls her on hiding.  This other person shows her how to do things that make her happy, even though the other person has a bright purple heart.  One day, several months after they have met, they both look up at each other’s heart to realize they are both ruby red, bright with love.  They couldn’t tell you when it happened; but the young woman takes the others hand and together, they build a life with communication, family, and adventures.

It’s sort of cheesy but there you go.

What did that prompt make you think of?

Listening to:  Through Glass by Stone Sour

Reading:  Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone by J.K. Rowling and Lirael by Garth Nix (Tim Curry is an awesome narrator!)

Quote of the Day:  “It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on.” ― Steve Maraboli

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Writing Wednesday

This is a day late.  I got engrossed in finishing “The Hate U Give” by Angie Thomas.  It was a fantastic read, well written and timely.  Please pick it up if you get the chance.

One of the goals for this blog this year is be more consistent and a little more focused.  I’ve been posting goals and some randomness but haven’t been overly consistent or focused, so this is an attempt to do just that.

Thanks to Ethan and Ray, I got a book of 400 writing prompts for Christmas.  Probably one of the more awesome presents this year (outside of my new Slytherin hoodie and a golden snitch watch necklace).

First Writing Wednesday Prompt:

What is your kryptonite and why does it have power over you?

The popularity of Superman and his vulnerability to Kryptonite has led to the generic usage of the term in popular culture as a reference to an individual’s weakness, similar to “Achilles’ heel“.[3]  

My weakness:  work?

Why?:  Because money makes the world go round and sadly, there never seems to be enough of it to go around.  I’ll do one job (a full-time that pays really well), then on days off, I’ll work something else, just to help make ends meet.  It sucks but that’s the lifestyle I’ve put myself into.  If I’m not working, I’m doing something because being lazy/unproductive sets me into a anxious/depressive cycle where I feel useless and like I’m a waste of space.  It’s sad but that is the way my brain works.

So not the most eloquent post.  The prompt brought back up a conversation I had last night about how much life is worth, especially since it’s been snowing.  The police were even saying, “If you don’t have to go out, stay home.”  I still wanted to work at delivery packages; got up, saw the roads, and said, “Screw it.”

Now, back to reading!

Listening to:  Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry

Reading:  Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry and Magician: Apprentice by Raymond E. Fiest

Quote of the Day:   “Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” ― Tony Robbins

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…Can get bent.

No, seriously.  Whoever came up with this 9-hour workday, where we do things we don’t enjoy to make just enough money to cover living expenses and not much else needs to go away, because this is for the birds.

You’re probably fussing at me now and tell me to get a grip on reality.  Let me ask though:  Are you doing what you wanted to do as an adult or are you doing what you are doing because you make loads of money and you feel safe?

I’m doing what I’m doing because I feel safe.  Or I did, once upon a time.  Now I’m considering jumping off the ledge to go do something else.  Like, I’m close enough to letting go.  I have one foot off the edge, I’ve left my safety harness on the ground and I just need to fall forward.  Or a hard breeze to blow just enough for me to lose my balance.

That’s where I’m at, metaphorically speaking.

I don’t have a safety net at the bottom and I’m not sure wings can grow fast enough before I hit the ground.

This was supposed to be about what I wanted to be when I grew up, but so far, I’ve just told you where I’m standing and what I’m thinking about.

So what happens when I step off that ledge and let go?  Do I really have the kahunas to risk everything and just fall?

Answer right now:  No.  Because it’s a very short drop to the bottom.  And I’m scared.  I have a safe job.  And I’ve had people make comments about what I want out of my life.  I want to write; I want to share stories with the world and I want to see that world.  I want to share things with my family that I haven’t before, but some of those things take money to do.  So what do I do?  Stay is a safe job while looking for the next safe move that will hopefully get me out of my funk.  I’ve been taking my stress home with me and it sucks.

What do I want to be when I grow up?  Happy, whether it’s as a writer or something else, but I’m getting tired of feeling dead inside and when I write, I feel alive, especially this month.  I have a goal and I’m getting there; I’m going to blow the thing out of the water so hard, it won’t even have existed!

Off to go pen the rest of my book.

Listening to:  Say Something Loving by the xx

Reading:  Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray and Life, the Universe and Everything by Douglas Adams

Quote of the Day:  “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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