Category Archives: Goals

August Goals

Happy August!

I did not do much goal related this past month.  Mostly, July was spent focusing on us moving and making enough money to move.  I was actually surprised at how much did read, watched and drove around.  There is something to be said for not worrying about school right now.

July happenings:

  • Miles reached: 645.17 (274.83 miles to Lothlorien.)
  • Weight lost: 8 lbs (Down to 266.8 from 274.8 on 7/1)
  • Books read: 10
  • Blog Posts: 7
  • Vlog Posts:  10
  • Participate in BookTubeAThon, a week long tribute to reading and books.

July’s goals are fairly straight forward.

  • Reach 750+ miles.
  • Lose at least 10 lbs.
  • 12 blog posts.
  • Finish reading 10 more books.
  • Spend 2 hours 3x a week this month.
  • Build emergency fund back up.
  • Upload 14 vlogs.
  • Sign up/Upgrade Baltimore Half to Baltimoron (5k plus Half).
  • Buy Yule Ball tickets for December 15th.
  • Participate in Read-a-Thin and Tome Topple.

Hopefully, we will know where we are moving to soon.  This whole house process is really, really frustrating ways.  Make sure you have several thousands of dollars saved up.  We thought we had enough but turns out we were wrong.  Hence why I didn’t mark anything off my list this month.  Better luck next time, huh?

Listening to:  Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli.  Book is super cute right now.

Reading:  Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli.

Quote of the Day: “Most great people have attained their greatest success one step beyond their greatest failure.” ― Napoleon Hill

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Filed under 1001 Days, Goals

Patience and Determination

This past week, I have been driving around like crazy.  It’s not been easy and I’ve spent almost 30 hrs on the road in the last week.  It should have been more.  I didn’t imagine this being a full-time job when I started it almost two years ago.

What I did imagine was getting further along in my career to where I wouldn’t have to drive around to make ends meet.  I set myself up for this though so I shouldn’t be complaining.

Determination to have a different life will always get the better of you.  When you are satisfied with the status quo, you stay where you are.  Some people are happy just surviving.  They aren’t doing much else with their lives, but they are happy for the most part.  There are days sometimes I wish I could be satisfied with a simple life, or in my version of things, the bare-minimum American dream.

I have always found the American dream to be a sham.  The big house with a white picket fence, a dog, a cat, two kids, a husband… I have already failed at this one since I’m gay and won’t be having any kids anytime soon.  But my wife wants that dream so I’ll patiently and determinately give it to her because it makes her happy.

Roots are not something I have ever wanted and/or needed.  Connections with things and homes don’t leave much space to move around for work or to have a somewhat vagabond-ish life that I had dreamed for myself as I had gotten older.  I used to joke on my dad about his wanderlust.  Looks like I have a version of that bug too.  Being married with kids and responsibilities has gone a long way to making sure that bug stays tucked away in a “What if” part of my brain.

Patience, though, keeps me stationary just as well.  Without patience, the need for instant gratification hits hard.  It’s definitely a generational thing, where I want something and I want it now.  If I don’t get it quickly, I stop working towards the goal and then when I think about it again, it’s too late or has lost the luster it once had.

Patience is definitely needed when it comes to getting the house we are trying for; determination is the only thing keeping me from walking away from it.  Determination to prove to everyone I can do this adulting thing and that I can finally get with the program to reach a lifetime milestone.  Well, that and $3,000 in earnest money (a DMV standard from those I have talked to about it.  Most other states require less.).  That’s too much money to just throw away, when building it back up would take six more weeks of me trying to kill myself.

Isn’t life grand?

Listening to:  The construction going on outside.

Reading:  “Uprooted” by Naomi Novik

Quote of the Day:  “Doubt is a virus that attacks our self-esteem, productivity and confidence. Faith that you and your life are perfectly unfolding is the strongest vaccine.” ― Sean Stephenson

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Filed under Advice Column, Driving, Finances, Goals

Question Day

I’ve been working on my vlogs for BookTube and my various stories.  I haven’t made much headway with either (although I’m already at eight vlogs for the month out of fourteen).  Those are fairly easy to record, mostly since they are about books.

Since I have been focusing on everything else, I figured today would be a good question day.

#70.  What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

This one is hard because there is a lot of things I would do if I knew no one would judge me.  I figured this would be a good list answer.

  • Audition for a role in a play. There is a production company that isn’t that far from my house and they are holding auditions for “Into the Woods.”  Outside of timing, my criticisms of myself and comments on my singing keeps me from auditioning right now.  I did save their page so I can try auditioning for a different play they are doing later in the year.
  • Sing in public. I have songs on my playlist that I love and sometimes the need to belt out the lyrics is strong.  When I’m in my car, I do; out in public, I don’t.  I don’t want to be judged.
  • Dance in public. Same as singing.
  • Do an open mic night. I think I’m funny and I think I have funny stories to share.  I would love to have the balls to get in front of crowd and through some jokes around to make people laugh.  We could all use a good laugh right now and I have a really great skit revolving around Uber.
  • Not stay at my desk all day. People judge when you aren’t sitting at your desk looking busy.  This drives me crazy.  I want to go sit in a conference room or go for really long walks or just go outside and enjoy that day.  Can’t do it a lot unless the bosses aren’t here.  While the cat’s away and all that jazz.
  • Read more. Same as desk duty.
  • Spend everything I make on non-bills. Bills and adulting are two things that go hand in hand these days.  I hate it and would much rather spend my money on other things like travel and family things.  Sadly, without bills and adulting, there wouldn’t be anything (material or human) to come home to after traveling or having fun.
  • Take a break. Along the lines of adulting, I would love to take a break from my job and find something else to do.  Judgmental me is against it because people would talk and then realize that you aren’t needed in your job anymore so why do you even still work for the company?  On the other hand, a break to do something meaningful with my life like volunteer, travel, or go to school full-time would be phenomenal.
  • Apply for non-public sector jobs. I started looking for non-government positions.  The current political climate has me wanting to get out while I can and go just about anywhere right now.  If I didn’t think I would be judged for looking outside of my agency and knew I could have a back-up plan for coming back to the government, I would apply elsewhere.
  • Write more. This goes back to my perfectionism and my anxiety.  If I mentally could wrap my brain around the story not having to be perfect up front or that people don’t care some much about what I say at first and I can always clean it up, I’d write more things.  As it stands, my need for everything to be perfect sucks and stifles my motivation.  I want to put out good works of art at the first attempt, not the third or fourth try.

Ten things.

Ten judgmental, self-esteem reducing things that I really would love to try.  Where to start with getting past them?  I’ll let you know later.

 

Listening to:  Hozier

Reading:  Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling

Quote of the Day:  “If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.”  ― Roopleen

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Filed under 1001 Days, Goals, Questions, Writing

Ponderings

Tomorrow is my 30th birthday.  The world can stop spinning now!

That’s a joke from my mom because I would act like the world revolved around me when I was younger and how I felt the entire world should know it’s my birthday and celebrate me.

I have since grown out of that phase but that joke/sentiment still sticks with me years after she said it.  Along with that one time I got sung to by a choir group passing through the Shoney’s and my dad mentioned it was my birthday to the instructor.  Mom and Grandma both got on my case for not saying “Thank you” to them.  I finally mumbled “thank you” to him as we were leaving.  I didn’t NOT say it because I was ungrateful.  I was embarrassed.

But 30…

I wanted to talk about the things I wanted to accomplish but haven’t yet; the things I did accomplish in the last 30 years of being on this earth, especially in the last two years; the loses and the gains of growing into a person your mom can be proud of; or even the things I’m looking forward to in the next decade.  The only thing I’m stuck on though is how much I want to get in the next 14 years.

Fourteen years has significance in a morbid way.  Tomorrow, I’ll turn the same age my mom was when she had me.  She was 44 when she died, so fourteen years.  Like I said, it’s a morbid way to spend my birthday thinking about how, in 14 years, I’ll have seen more years then she did.  Would she be happy with the person I became?  Is my morbidity of trying to accomplish so much in 14 years the reason I feel like I have finite time to accomplish everything I want out of life?

Silver linings though right?  We’ve always got to look for the positive in any situation.  Why don’t I feel like looking at the positive right now?  Why don’t I want to focus on the fact I have a great family?  Why can’t I focus on my accomplishments so far this year?  That would be easy; I just have to look at my goals posts.  There is no easy answer for when does time run out.  Do I really have 14 years?  More?  Less?

Ponderings.  These are just ponderings of the emotions coming from a milestone birthday.  I’m really okay.  Between reading and writing, blogging and recording content for my BookTube Channel, I have plenty to keep me busy, especially since we are also part way through the process of buying a house.

Listening to:  Amazon’s Rise Against station

Reading:  Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling

Quote of the Day:  “It’s really something for people who are approaching 30 to take a look at what that means to them.  I think turning 30 is a way to re-identify with yourself.” – Neil Patrick Harris

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Filed under Advice Column, Goals, Uncategorized

July Goals

Happy July?

June dragged by, I think because the Universe knew I was procrastinating on just about everything.  Either way, I did get some things done last month and even one thing I wasn’t sure I was going to start but did anyways.

I completed two 1001 day goals:

  • Get my passport!
  • Go to a drag show (Baltimore Pride)

I also started one non-1001 days goal I thought was pretty neat.

June happenings:

  • Miles reached: 556.96 (Left Rivendell for Lothlorien…357.33 miles to go.)
  • Weight lost: 6.8 lbs (Down to 274.8 from 281.6 on 6/1).  I really hit a plateau this month but down is down I guess
  • Books read: 12
  • Blog Posts: 7
  • Got Passport in mail!
  • Went to Baltimore Pride
  • Vlog Posts:  6
  • Register for Sister Space in Havre de Grace, MD.

July’s goals are fairly straight forward.

  • Reach 650+ miles.  Half training started again for October
  • Lose at least 15 lbs.
  • 12 blog posts.
  • Finish reading five more books.
  • Work on “Aftershock” for Camp NaNoWriMo.
  • Build emergency fund back up.
  • Go camping July 1 and 2.
  • Upload 14 vlogs.
  • Sign up/Upgrade Baltimore Half to Baltimoron (5k plus Half).
  • Buy Yule Ball tickets for December 15th.
  • Close on house.  *Fingers Crossed*

It’s going to be another exciting month with plenty to look forward to!

Listening to: Misery Business by Paramore

Reading:  The Book of Speculation by Erika Swyler

Quote of the Day: “Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.” ― Henri Frederic Amiel

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Race Day #2

I did it!

Saturday, I completed my second major race, the Baltimore 10-Miler.  It was a beautiful course through Druid Hill Park and then through JHU out to Lake Montebello and back.  Ten miles of officers and people being supportive and plenty of Gatorade and water.  It was awesome… until it wasn’t anymore.  I got to the finish with a broken blister on my right heel again, two rolled ankles, and cramps so bad in both legs.  Oh and my mid-upper back on fire.  Reasons?  I didn’t really train for this one.

Bmore 10 Miler

I finished though… in under the time limit with almost a minute faster pace than the Frederick Half.

Bmore 10 Miler medal

There would have been no way I would have done either of these last year.

So what’s the difference?

Surgery.

In December 2016, I had weight loss surgery.  I was sitting at 396 at this time last year (right picture).  Right now, I’m at 280/281 (left pic).

Comparison

This was not the easy way out.  There is a lot of work that went into getting the surgery.  I started the process a year ago this month in fact.  Every day is a struggle to get through all the fluids and all the protein that I need to intake just to keep going.  Hence the walking more, the getting out more, the doing more things, etc.

Last year, Maryland’s King Crab Challenge was just a thought on a piece of paper of things I wanted to do.  Now, thanks to the surgery and the support I have, it’s a reality this year.  My feet aren’t thanking me for it yet, but my esteem is.

Now to get my legs elevated so my ankle and heel can heal.  19 weeks and 5 days until Baltimore Run Fest!

Have a great week everyone.

Listening to:  Hamilton

Reading:  The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

Quote of the Day:  “Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.” ― Thomas Carlyle

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Filed under 1001 Days, Bucket List, Goals, Weightloss

June’s Goals

Happy June!

Wow.  Just wow.  Can someone tell me where May went?  Sheesh.

This year is going so fast!

I completed two 1001 day goals:

I also complete one non-1001 days goal I thought was pretty neat.

Just because May went fast didn’t mean a lot of things didn’t happen.

  • Miles reached: 439.89 (18.11 miles to Rivendell!)
  • Weight lost: 11.4 lbs (Down to 281.6 from 293 on 5/1).
  • Books read: 26.  Several of these were graphic novels but yeah…
  • Blog Posts: 5
  • Went to Cross-Fit: 6
  • Started passport process
  • Saw Weezer and Fitz and the Tantrums in concert.
  • The three aforementioned goals.

June’s goals are fairly straight forward.

  • Reach 550+ miles.
  • Lose at least 16 more lbs.
  • 12 blog posts.
  • Finish reading five more books.
  • Finish and frame my cross-stitch project.
  • Do Cross-fit at least eight times this month.
  • Write 10,000 words on any story.
  • Build emergency fund back up.
  • Complete my second race in the King Crab Challenge
  • Go camping.
  • Start Half Marathon training again for October.

It’s going to be another exciting month with plenty to look forward to!

Listening to:  Three Doors Down

Reading:  The Killing Dance by Laurell K. Hamilton

Quote of the Day: “ People are not lazy. They simply have impotent goals – that is, goals that do not inspire them. ” ― Tony Robbins

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Filed under 1001 Days, Books/Classes, Bucket List, Goals