I’ve been working on my vlogs for BookTube and my various stories. I haven’t made much headway with either (although I’m already at eight vlogs for the month out of fourteen). Those are fairly easy to record, mostly since they are about books.
Since I have been focusing on everything else, I figured today would be a good question day.
#70. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
This one is hard because there is a lot of things I would do if I knew no one would judge me. I figured this would be a good list answer.
- Audition for a role in a play. There is a production company that isn’t that far from my house and they are holding auditions for “Into the Woods.” Outside of timing, my criticisms of myself and comments on my singing keeps me from auditioning right now. I did save their page so I can try auditioning for a different play they are doing later in the year.
- Sing in public. I have songs on my playlist that I love and sometimes the need to belt out the lyrics is strong. When I’m in my car, I do; out in public, I don’t. I don’t want to be judged.
- Dance in public. Same as singing.
- Do an open mic night. I think I’m funny and I think I have funny stories to share. I would love to have the balls to get in front of crowd and through some jokes around to make people laugh. We could all use a good laugh right now and I have a really great skit revolving around Uber.
- Not stay at my desk all day. People judge when you aren’t sitting at your desk looking busy. This drives me crazy. I want to go sit in a conference room or go for really long walks or just go outside and enjoy that day. Can’t do it a lot unless the bosses aren’t here. While the cat’s away and all that jazz.
- Read more. Same as desk duty.
- Spend everything I make on non-bills. Bills and adulting are two things that go hand in hand these days. I hate it and would much rather spend my money on other things like travel and family things. Sadly, without bills and adulting, there wouldn’t be anything (material or human) to come home to after traveling or having fun.
- Take a break. Along the lines of adulting, I would love to take a break from my job and find something else to do. Judgmental me is against it because people would talk and then realize that you aren’t needed in your job anymore so why do you even still work for the company? On the other hand, a break to do something meaningful with my life like volunteer, travel, or go to school full-time would be phenomenal.
- Apply for non-public sector jobs. I started looking for non-government positions. The current political climate has me wanting to get out while I can and go just about anywhere right now. If I didn’t think I would be judged for looking outside of my agency and knew I could have a back-up plan for coming back to the government, I would apply elsewhere.
- Write more. This goes back to my perfectionism and my anxiety. If I mentally could wrap my brain around the story not having to be perfect up front or that people don’t care some much about what I say at first and I can always clean it up, I’d write more things. As it stands, my need for everything to be perfect sucks and stifles my motivation. I want to put out good works of art at the first attempt, not the third or fourth try.
Ten judgmental, self-esteem reducing things that I really would love to try. Where to start with getting past them? I’ll let you know later.
Listening to: Hozier
Quote of the Day: “If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.” ― Roopleen