Tomorrow is my 30th birthday. The world can stop spinning now!
That’s a joke from my mom because I would act like the world revolved around me when I was younger and how I felt the entire world should know it’s my birthday and celebrate me.
I have since grown out of that phase but that joke/sentiment still sticks with me years after she said it. Along with that one time I got sung to by a choir group passing through the Shoney’s and my dad mentioned it was my birthday to the instructor. Mom and Grandma both got on my case for not saying “Thank you” to them. I finally mumbled “thank you” to him as we were leaving. I didn’t NOT say it because I was ungrateful. I was embarrassed.
I wanted to talk about the things I wanted to accomplish but haven’t yet; the things I did accomplish in the last 30 years of being on this earth, especially in the last two years; the loses and the gains of growing into a person your mom can be proud of; or even the things I’m looking forward to in the next decade. The only thing I’m stuck on though is how much I want to get in the next 14 years.
Fourteen years has significance in a morbid way. Tomorrow, I’ll turn the same age my mom was when she had me. She was 44 when she died, so fourteen years. Like I said, it’s a morbid way to spend my birthday thinking about how, in 14 years, I’ll have seen more years then she did. Would she be happy with the person I became? Is my morbidity of trying to accomplish so much in 14 years the reason I feel like I have finite time to accomplish everything I want out of life?
Silver linings though right? We’ve always got to look for the positive in any situation. Why don’t I feel like looking at the positive right now? Why don’t I want to focus on the fact I have a great family? Why can’t I focus on my accomplishments so far this year? That would be easy; I just have to look at my goals posts. There is no easy answer for when does time run out. Do I really have 14 years? More? Less?
Ponderings. These are just ponderings of the emotions coming from a milestone birthday. I’m really okay. Between reading and writing, blogging and recording content for my BookTube Channel, I have plenty to keep me busy, especially since we are also part way through the process of buying a house.
Listening to: Amazon’s Rise Against station
Quote of the Day: “It’s really something for people who are approaching 30 to take a look at what that means to them. I think turning 30 is a way to re-identify with yourself.” – Neil Patrick Harris