Grief Part 2

Yesterday made a year that my step-mom has been gone.  I went home over the weekend to visit my dad and sisters.  February isn’t always the best month for us with birthdays (Dad turned 65 on the 23rd and one of my brother’s turned 35 on the 19th) and deaths (Mom on the 8th and our other Mom on the 27th).

Since I’ve already done a post on grief, I wanted to talk about happiness and living.

Question 72:  What is the different between being alive and truly living?

There are a few different answers to this one.

Settling vs Being Happy

The Whisper App has several threads where people are asked why they settle for what they have instead of going after what they truly want in life.  For me, settling was staying in a dead-end relationship, and more recently, in a job that I had outgrown.  Being happy is being married to a fantastic woman who makes me want to do better for both my family and myself.  Being happy is that feeling of wanting to go home at the end of a day of hard work and hugging someone I love.

Routine vs Doing Something New       

A routine means doing the same thing, or nearly the same thing, every day.  There is predictability and known things and a form of comfortability that comes with a routine.  One shake up or change can create upheaval.  I used to be the type of person who after something had change, I felt life was chaotic and that I would never get back on track.  However, by doing something new, it can become the known.  It may also be a better way to do things.

Learning vs Doing

We are always learning; that’s where the doing something new comes in.  To me, though, there’s a difference when it comes to learning and doing, especially when talking about being alive and truly living.  Take signing up for something (I signed up for the Maryland King Crab yesterday).  I can learn how to train for a ½ marathon, I can learn how to exercise properly but none of that information helps me out if I’m not doing it.  Doing it would be truly living and learning how to do it but not fully doing it is being alive.


Groupon did a commercial about the Have and the Have Done.  It was a neat little commercial and it really brings home the point that having something is totally different from experiencing anything.  That’s true with being alive and truly living.  Everyone is alive; that’s a given.  But not everyone truly understands there is more to living.

Tomorrow starts Lent, 40 days of doing something, giving up something, learning something, reading something.  It is a spiritual journey but can also just be about doing something you’ve wanted to do and doing it for 40 days.  I’m saying this because anyone cane doing anything for 40 days; mine is writing at least a page in my notebook for 40 days.  It’s also a great time to do something outside of your comfort zone in a self-care kind of way for 40 days, things like reading books, practicing meditation, answering questions that make you think about your life, exercising, walking, etc.  The list goes on and is only as limited as you make it.

Enjoy Fat Tuesday today.

Listening to:  A Coursera video on Mindfulness Meditation and the Brain.

Reading:  The Scourge of Muirwood by Jeff Wheeler

Quote of the Day:  “For everything in this journey of life we are on, there is a right wing and a left wing: for the wing of love there is anger; for the wing of destiny there is fear; for the wing of pain there is healing; for the wing of hurt there is forgiveness; for the wing of pride there is humility; for the wing of giving there is taking; for the wing of tears there is joy; for the wing of rejection there is acceptance; for the wing of judgment there is grace; for the wing of honor there is shame; for the wing of letting go there is the wing of keeping. We can only fly with two wings and two wings can only stay in the air if there is a balance. Two beautiful wings is perfection. There is a generation of people who idealize perfection as the existence of only one of these wings every time. But I see that a bird with one wing is imperfect. An angel with one wing is imperfect. A butterfly with one wing is dead. So this generation of people strive to always cut off the other wing in the hopes of embodying their ideal of perfection, and in doing so, have created a crippled race.” ― C. JoyBell C.


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Filed under 1001 Days, Advice Column, Questions

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