February 8th has always been a hard day to get through.
Sixteen years doesn’t make today any easier either.
On that day, my sisters and I lost our biological mom. She was 44 and died from lung cancer. She would have been 60 this year on January 29th.
There are not enough words to say to a 13 year old, or even two twelve year olds, that would make the pain bearable. There aren’t enough words for even the nearly 30 year old to help her stop crying in the corner and be able to get through today without the water works.
Today’s post is one of two on grief and how the only things that really help in the long run are time and talking.
For anyone who has lost anything, a pet, a parent, a child, a partner, a friend for whatever reason, a job even, there are seven stages of grief:
- Shock or Disbelief
Sadly, no one but you, the person feeling the grief, can know how long each step in the grieving process.
Some wounds stay with you, haunt you, until they drive you crazy until you acknowledge them. Some you can say “I’m sorry” and those two words may or may not heal the wounds left on your heart. Others, you have to find the peace within yourself to be able to let go. Eat Pray Love had a really good message in the pray section about forgiveness and saying good-bye. Liz kept wanting to say things to her ex-husband that he wouldn’t let her say face to face. Richard told her that some things will never get closure until you, yourself, give them closure. At least, that’s the way I remember it.
If you know someone who if grieving, hug them and let them know that you will be there for them for however long the grieving process takes.
Listening to: Thirty Seconds to Mars Amazon station
Quote of the Day: “So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality, nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit.” ― Christopher McCandless