Fear of Completion

Remember Thursday when I mentioned that I was almost done with my third goal this week?

Well, that is true.  I’ve just got to do the backstitch on my cross-stitch project and then wash it and then frame it.  I’m not sure if I’ll get it professionally framed or do it myself again.  It’s an awesome project but I found myself procrastinating on finishing it.  Why?  Because I’m not sure what to do next.

I do this a lot.  With my writing, with my projects, with my life sometimes.  Fear of the unknown and unplanned.

Along with the cross-stitch project, I’m procrastinating on the edits for my story.  I have a completed story and the first three chapter are epic, crafted to what I think of as near perfection.  Today, I got an e-mail asking for the rest of my manuscript…the part that isn’t edited yet because I’ve procrastinated on it.  I haven’t touched in over 3 months and now I need to finish the edits by tomorrow night.  I’m about halfway through the book now but this gnawing fear of what’s next eats at me and freezes me.

I am the biggest obstacle to my own happiness and fulfillment of my dreams.  I know this and still I don’t do much to break the cycle that I know is a character and keeps me from going after what I most want and/or need.  Hell, took me meeting Ray last fall before I knew what a true, loving, honest relationship could feel like.  It had only taken 28 years.

Fear of completion is a real thing though.  But moving through it and past it is the only way to get to the next step.  Fear of the unknown changes by learning things and plunging into the depths.  Letting go of the fear is letting yourself experience something, anything, that scares you but excites you.  Skydiving, swimming, cooking, writing, traveling… Go for it!

Listening to:  Hamilton Soundtrack

Reading:  Beautiful Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

Quote of the Day:  “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.” ― Dale Carnegie

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Filed under Books/Classes, Cross-Stitch, Goals, Writing

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